News

Zoo places lion on gluten-free, vegan diet

Jun 3rd, 2014 | By

By Urban Anomie The Alberta Zoo has an overweight lion on its hands, and plans to combat the problem by placing its pride and joy, Sefu, on an all-natural gluten-free, vegan diet. Alonzo Ramos, director of Research and Veterinary Programs at The Alberta Zoo, says his team has spent “like, three hours” researching all manner of quack-fu

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Woman gets bitten by mosquito, tells everyone about it on Twitter

Sep 12th, 2013 | By
Mosquito Edmonton

By Urban Anomie An Edmonton woman who was bitten by a mosquito on Wednesday took to social media to tell everyone of the regaling incident. “Just got bit by a pesky mosquito,” she tweeted to the delight of her 179 followers. “Now it’s gonna itch for a few days lol,” she tweeted 39 seconds later. Kaitlyn

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Airdrie man who purchased $78,000 in lottery tickets says fortune cookie lied to him

Sep 11th, 2013 | By
Fortunecookie

By Urban Anomie Were you the lucky holder of a winning lottery ticket recently? Most likely you were not. Statistically, you’re more likely to get struck by lightning, die after contracting the West Nile Virus, or perish in a plane crash. But one Airdrie man thought he was in for a treat after his post-wonton soup

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The search for Jimmy Hoffa’s remains leads authorities to famed Chicken on the Way

Sep 2nd, 2013 | By
Jimmy Hoffa

By Urban Anomie CALGARY, AB — Beneath a hockey arena, under a horse farm . . . and now in the basement of Calgary’s acclaimed Chicken on the Way restaurant. For the umpteenth time, FBI agents, this time in concert with the RCMP, went on a search for Jimmy Hoffa’s remains or clues to the disappearance of

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Superstore employees vote to strike, customers wonder if they’ll even notice

Aug 26th, 2013 | By
Superstore Strike

By Urban Anomie Real Canadian Superstore employees have moved one step closer to strike action, after a strike vote was held in Calgary last week. Union members in the Calgary area voted 97 per cent in favour of going off the job. The same percentage of workers voted yes in Edmonton last week. Some shoppers wonder

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Harper Government introduces bill effectively banning friendships between cats and dogs

Aug 23rd, 2013 | By

By Urban Anomie Taking a page from Russia’s book, the Canadian federal government announced Friday that it has introduced a bill designed to stop friendships between cats and dogs. The bill, known as UA-12, bans the spreading of “propaganda of non-traditional animal friendships” among Canadians. In effect, Bill UA-12 makes it illegal to consider, treat, or

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RCMP arrest Vulcan, AB man accused of being a Romulan spy

Aug 21st, 2013 | By
Vulcan Starship

By Urban Anomie A 43-year-old Vulcan man has been arrested in a rural Alberta town on suspicion of spying for the Romulan Star Empire, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) has said. The man, who goes by the name of T’Steve, told police he had photographed starships and other military-related buildings along along Highway 23 in the

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Pringles purchases naming rights to iconic Saddledome

Aug 13th, 2013 | By
PringleDome

By Urban Anomie Fans of the Calgary Flames have long said that a relationship between Pringles chips and the Saddledome would be a match made in heaven. On Tuesday, Calgary Flames president and CEO, Ken King, held a press conference to announce the partnership. “I am <crunch> very <crunch, crunch> pleased to <crunch> announce that Pringles

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Calgary honours Toronto mayor Rob Ford with prestigious white asshat

Aug 12th, 2013 | By
Rob Ford Asshat

By Urban Anomie CALGARY, AB – The City of Calgary’s Mayor’s Office recognized their Toronto counterpart, Rob Ford, on Monday with the traditional Smithbilt asshat, placing him in elite company alongside Tom Cruise and Roger ‘that guy who blocks people on Twitter for no reason’ Millions – the only other recipients to receive the honour. Calgary’s

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U of C researcher cracks the mystery of disappearing honeybee colonies

Aug 11th, 2013 | By
Honeybee pollinating flower

By Urban Anomie Entire honeybee colonies around the world are either dying off or disappearing altogether. The phenomenon has been aptly named Colony Collapse Disorder (aka We’re Screwed if the Bees Disappear Disorder) and it’s being reported in every region on the planet. Honeybees play an integral part in the ecosystem. As much as 1/3 of

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