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CBC severs ties with Peter Mansbridge for allegedly failing to use reusable grocery bags

Jun 10th, 2015 | By
Peter Mansbridge

TORONTO — The CBC has severed ties with its chief correspondent and host of The National, Peter Mansbridge, saying it determined his environmental stance on the use of grocery shopping bags failed to meet the network’s code of ethics. Just hours after receiving an anonymous tip that Mansbridge had his groceries bagged in non-biodegradable plastic

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Calgary councillor introduces motion to have all dogs’ teeth pulled in light of recent dog attacks

May 15th, 2015 | By
Dog Teeth

By Urban Anomie Ward 15 Councillor Charlie Bain introduced a motion Friday that would require all Calgary dog owners to remove their dog’s teeth, regardless of breed, before the dog turns six months old. The motion comes after several dog attacks in the city in recent weeks, and Bain is confident that without teeth, dogs will

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Dog suicides on the rise as Canada Post claws back home delivery

Mar 31st, 2015 | By
Family Dog Suicide

By Urban Anomie Suicide rates among family dogs have risen sharply in the past six months, prompting concerns from families and professionals. The reasons for human suicide are often complex and multi-faceted, and officials and researchers acknowledge that no one can explain with absolute certainty what is behind the rise in suicides of our K9

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Monsanto to begin spraying cities with chemical designed to make people not hate Monsanto

Aug 3rd, 2014 | By
Monsanto Vynthium-9

By Urban Anomie CALGARY, AB – Monsanto, one of the world’s largest producers of genetically engineered crops, will begin spraying entire cities with a new chemical called Vynthium-9, which is designed to make people more receptive to genetically engineered food, and the Monsanto name, in general. The controversial agricultural/biotechnology giant has been in the spotlight in

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Council approves $12 million magpie relocation plan

Jun 17th, 2014 | By
Magpies Calgary

By Urban Anomie On Monday, City Council approved an ambitious plan to deal with the city’s annoying magpie problem, by capturing all the squawky birds and moving them three kms outside city limits. Dubbed “Operation Wingstrike,” the plan is being hailed as a first for any city in the world, and according to independent experts, should

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Zoo places lion on gluten-free, vegan diet

Jun 3rd, 2014 | By

By Urban Anomie The Alberta Zoo has an overweight lion on its hands, and plans to combat the problem by placing its pride and joy, Sefu, on an all-natural gluten-free, vegan diet. Alonzo Ramos, director of Research and Veterinary Programs at The Alberta Zoo, says his team has spent “like, three hours” researching all manner of quack-fu

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91 dead, hundreds wounded as the Gluten-Free Militia launches pre-emptive strike on Anti-Dairy Forces

Mar 10th, 2014 | By
Almondheim

By Urban Anomie An Alberta newspaper reported on Monday that a missile fired from the mountains near the town of Blairmore hit an Anti-Dairy Force (ADF) controlled missile base in southeastern B.C. The news agency quoted eyewitnesses who said “hundreds” were incinerated or injured, and that the majority of the military installation was destroyed. On Thursday,

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Single man celebrates Valentine’s Day by dabbling in black magic to create a v00doo doll containing the soul of his ex-wife

Feb 13th, 2014 | By
Valentine's Day

By Urban Anomie Valentine’s Day is upon us, and with it, many lovebirds are out buying low quality chocolate at the corner store, over-priced cards riddled with corny platitudes, and surprising their loved-ones with a fluffy stuffed animal that was sewed together in Bangladesh by a mother of eight who can’t even afford shoes for herself.

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Assholes flock to social media to be the first to post spoilers of their favourite TV show

Feb 11th, 2014 | By

By Urban Anomie The Walking Dead returned this past Sunday, with its mid-season premier that saw fan-favourite Darrel board a plane and head to New Zealand, where the zombie epidemic has not yet struck. No, that’s not true . . . You see, the folks here at Urban Anomie realize not everybody watches the newest episode

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House fire sparks neighbourhood wiener and marshmallow roast

Jan 15th, 2014 | By
House fire roasting marshmallows

By Urban Anomie A faulty coffee machine is being blamed for a house fire in the southwest neighbourhood of Killarney early Wednesday morning, which has left a crotchety elderly woman—known to neighbours as Griselda the Spider—homeless. Neighbours celebrated the unfortunate incident by gathering around the fire singing So Long It’s Been Good to Know You and

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