Southern Alberta town to change name to Kirby Montana in a bid to keep people away

Nov 21st, 2013 | By

By Urban Anomie The tourist-destination town of Banff, Alberta has become so popular, that in order to curb people from visiting it has announced plans to change its name to Kirby Montana. Council member, Louise White, says Kirby, Montana exemplifies a run-down shit hole that nobody wants to visit, and thinks that by making the change,

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The Christmas tree guide

Nov 11th, 2013 | By
Christmas Tree

By Urban Anomie Perhaps second only to Santa Claus, the Christmas tree is the most iconic image associated with contemporary Christmas in North America. For many adults who’ve long-ago abandoned the notion of an overweight elderly man with a curious interest in children squeezing his ass down the chimney to leave candy presents for children, the

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Americans pleased that Canadians are just as fucked up as they are

Nov 8th, 2013 | By

By Urban Anomie The news that Toronto mayor Rob Ford is a crack-smoking douchebag made international headlines this week, which brought to light the status of cross-border perceptions between friendly neighbours Canada and the US. “It’s refreshing to know that friendly ol’ Canada isn’t so peaceful and innocent up there,” said William Lehman of Seattle, Washington.

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Bank of Canada scratches plan to feature Rob Ford on new $15 bill

Nov 7th, 2013 | By

By Urban Anomie Shortly after a ceremony at the Canadian Space Agency in Saint-Hubert, Quebec on Thursday that was held to mark the release of Canada’s newest in the series of polymer bank notes, the Bank of Canada said it has cancelled plans to feature Rob Ford on the new $15 bill set to be released

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Editorial – Rob Ford: balls of steel

Nov 5th, 2013 | By

By Urban Anomie Toronto, Ontario. T.O. for short. North America’s third largest city. The centre of the universe. The land of crack-smoking, alcoholic mayors. The home of . . . wait, what? The land of crack-smoking, alcoholic mayors. Toronto’s infamous mayor Rob Ford was one of the most popular guys on the Interweb today, after admitting

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Woman upset after being told Thanksgiving turkey used to be alive

Oct 15th, 2013 | By
Thanksgiving Turkey

By Urban Anomie Paris DePalmer, 24, was devastated on Monday night, after the revelation hit her that the turkey she bought and prepared for Thanksgiving was actually a living creature at some point. It began after one of her Thanksgiving guests complemented the turkey she spent the afternoon preparing and cooking. “’That’s a dope looking bird,’

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Couple files for divorce citing banana preferences

Oct 10th, 2013 | By
Banana brown dots

By Urban Anomie A northwest Calgary couple has filed for divorce over the different stages at which each other prefers their banana. “She knew I didn’t buy green bananas when we were dating,” says Mark Levitt, half of the couple in question. “That isn’t just a god damn phrase people use, you know.” Mark and Sarah

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Starbucks to begin offering insulin chasers with premium sugary drinks

Sep 29th, 2013 | By
Starbucks insulin

By Urban Anomie Premium coffee house, Starbucks, announced on Sunday, that the company will begin offering insulin chasers with their specialty beverages, such as the Pumpkin Spice Latte, for an additional 79-cents. “Starbucks has always been a trendsetter,” says Western Canadian district manager, Marie Marlowe. “Customers can now order the worst-for-you, health-unconscientiously sugary $6 ‘coffees’ they

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Condo board fines five-year-old for singing in common space

Sep 26th, 2013 | By
Condo board assholes

By Urban Anomie CALGARY, AB — Cindy O’Donnell was upset when her five-year-old daughter received a letter in the mail on Thursday, informing her she was being fined $1000 by their condominium board. What upset O’Donnell the most was that the fine was being brought against her daughter for singing the alphabet in the parking lot

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Woman gets bitten by mosquito, tells everyone about it on Twitter

Sep 12th, 2013 | By
Mosquito Edmonton

By Urban Anomie An Edmonton woman who was bitten by a mosquito on Wednesday took to social media to tell everyone of the regaling incident. “Just got bit by a pesky mosquito,” she tweeted to the delight of her 179 followers. “Now it’s gonna itch for a few days lol,” she tweeted 39 seconds later. Kaitlyn

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