Alberta

Condo board fines five-year-old for singing in common space

Sep 26th, 2013 | By
Condo board assholes

By Urban Anomie CALGARY, AB — Cindy O’Donnell was upset when her five-year-old daughter received a letter in the mail on Thursday, informing her she was being fined $1000 by their condominium board. What upset O’Donnell the most was that the fine was being brought against her daughter for singing the alphabet in the parking lot

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The search for Jimmy Hoffa’s remains leads authorities to famed Chicken on the Way

Sep 2nd, 2013 | By
Jimmy Hoffa

By Urban Anomie CALGARY, AB — Beneath a hockey arena, under a horse farm . . . and now in the basement of Calgary’s acclaimed Chicken on the Way restaurant. For the umpteenth time, FBI agents, this time in concert with the RCMP, went on a search for Jimmy Hoffa’s remains or clues to the disappearance of

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Superstore employees vote to strike, customers wonder if they’ll even notice

Aug 26th, 2013 | By
Superstore Strike

By Urban Anomie Real Canadian Superstore employees have moved one step closer to strike action, after a strike vote was held in Calgary last week. Union members in the Calgary area voted 97 per cent in favour of going off the job. The same percentage of workers voted yes in Edmonton last week. Some shoppers wonder

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RCMP arrest Vulcan, AB man accused of being a Romulan spy

Aug 21st, 2013 | By
Vulcan Starship

By Urban Anomie A 43-year-old Vulcan man has been arrested in a rural Alberta town on suspicion of spying for the Romulan Star Empire, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) has said. The man, who goes by the name of T’Steve, told police he had photographed starships and other military-related buildings along along Highway 23 in the

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Meteorologist in police custody after attacking a man who told him ‘winter is coming’

Aug 19th, 2013 | By
winter is coming

By Urban Anomie It’s not uncommon for pop culture references to work their way into the real lives of everyday fans, but one meteorologist in Calgary, AB had apparently heard enough. Police have arrested and charged Dale Schneider for assault and uttering death threats in conjunction with an incident that took place this weekend. On Sunday

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Massive sinkhole swallows neighbourhood of Silverado, Calgarians ask ‘where the hell is that?’

Aug 15th, 2013 | By
Calgary Sinkhole

By Urban Anomie The tsunami that struck Calgary and the town of High River in June has left the city with countless sinkholes – some capable of swallowing people, some, entire city blocks. On Thursday, the southwest neighbourhood of Silverado was noticed to be missing by a mail carrier on her route, and experts agree that

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Pringles purchases naming rights to iconic Saddledome

Aug 13th, 2013 | By
PringleDome

By Urban Anomie Fans of the Calgary Flames have long said that a relationship between Pringles chips and the Saddledome would be a match made in heaven. On Tuesday, Calgary Flames president and CEO, Ken King, held a press conference to announce the partnership. “I am <crunch> very <crunch, crunch> pleased to <crunch> announce that Pringles

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Calgary honours Toronto mayor Rob Ford with prestigious white asshat

Aug 12th, 2013 | By
Rob Ford Asshat

By Urban Anomie CALGARY, AB – The City of Calgary’s Mayor’s Office recognized their Toronto counterpart, Rob Ford, on Monday with the traditional Smithbilt asshat, placing him in elite company alongside Tom Cruise and Roger ‘that guy who blocks people on Twitter for no reason’ Millions – the only other recipients to receive the honour. Calgary’s

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U of C researcher cracks the mystery of disappearing honeybee colonies

Aug 11th, 2013 | By
Honeybee pollinating flower

By Urban Anomie Entire honeybee colonies around the world are either dying off or disappearing altogether. The phenomenon has been aptly named Colony Collapse Disorder (aka We’re Screwed if the Bees Disappear Disorder) and it’s being reported in every region on the planet. Honeybees play an integral part in the ecosystem. As much as 1/3 of

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87 Sunnyside homes to be demolished to make room for Costco

Aug 9th, 2013 | By
Costco Insanity

By Urban Anomie CALGARY —  City Council approved a plan on Friday to demolish 87  homes in the northwest community of Sunnyside to make way for a proposed 210,000 square-foot Costco. Many residents are upset by the move, and say the community will be devastated. “People move to communities like Sunnyside to get away from the

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