Earl Cowan cast as Wicked Witch in stage production of the Wizard of Oz

Aug 20th, 2015 | By | Category: Canada
Earl Cowan Witch

Conservative heckler Earl Cowan to play the Wicked Witch of the West in Royal Canadian Stratford Company’s The Wizard of Oz.

By Urban Anomie

“You are a lying piece of shit . . . and your little dog, too: you’re all lying pieces of shit!”

Presumed Conservative party supporter and lunatic Earl Cowan has been tapped to play The Wicked Witch of the West in Royal Canadian Stratford Company’s [RCSC] production of The Wizard of Oz, set to visit 11 cities across Canada this fall.

Most famously known for shouting profanities at reporters during a campaign event for Conservative Leader Stephen Harper, Cowan has no known acting experience, but the self-appointed officer of the morality police is said to understand that acting is an acceptable form of lying.

Nicole Hillby, senior casting director for the left wing commie pinko piece of shit RCSC said she heard Cowan on the news and knew she’d found her witch.

“Taking a bona fide, certifiable curmudgeon and placing him in the role of the Wicked Witch . . . it’s genius,” said Hillby.

This isn’t the first time a gender specific role has been played by a member of the opposite sex, Hillby points out; but she does expect audience members and the public to react in different ways.

“Maybe someone will, I don’t know, call us out for it,” she said. “Inform us we’re idiots, and something-something about taxes.”

Toto is being played by a Siamese cat in RCSC’s Oz production. That’s probably relevant to this story, somehow.

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