By Urban Anomie
Were you the lucky holder of a winning lottery ticket recently?
Most likely you were not.
Statistically, you’re more likely to get struck by lightning, die after contracting the West Nile Virus, or perish in a plane crash.
But one Airdrie man thought he was in for a treat after his post-wonton soup fortune cookie told him “Good fortunes will find you tomorrow.” Later that afternoon, he cashed-in his RRSPs and bought $78,000 in lottery tickets. Losing lottery tickets.
Now, Dave Rothschild, 53, wants the fortune cookie maker to pay up.
“I was downright lied to,” says Rothchilds.
“There was no ‘good luck,’ there was no ‘okay luck.’ My wife is divorcing me, I’m the laughing stock of the community, and I got fired from my job last week because I was so certain I was going to win that I took leak in my boss’ peace lily.”
Vajresh Sandu, owner of the convenience store where Rothschild bought the tickets said his cash register went through two rolls of paper when the receipt was being printed out.
“God bless this glorious man and his bountiful children,” said Sandu. “I hope he comes again.”
Rothschild’s lawyer, Mariam Stevenson, announced that on top of punitive damages, her client is suing the Ding Fortune Cookie Co. for $7.9 million for emotional distress, pain and suffering, future psychologist expenses, mental anguish, and lost wages, plus all court costs and attorney’s fees.
“My client is not having a very good week,” Stevenson said. “It’s bad enough he was lied to by a fortune cookie, but to be humiliated in such a way that his reputation throughout the community can never recover . . . it’s just disgusting that corporations knowingly and willingly lie to customers in this manner.
“And what about the next victim who is fooled by one of Ding’s fortunes? Who will look out for them?”