By Urban Anomie
The Canadian Government is moving towards a fight to the finish in the war on drugs, with Francis Letourneau, the Minister of Agriculture, announcing today that the government has purchased 24 ‘super robots’ capable of levelling entire grow-ops with energy blasts projected from weapons mounted on each arm.
Nearing 40-feet in height, and powered with a proprietary natural gas-hemp blend of fuel, the robots, dubbed, Weed Force –Xterminate, cost taxpayers $12.7 billion, and will be up and running by the end of the week.
“Canadians can feel safer knowing their government is protecting them with this army of unstoppable robots,” Letourneau said.
Opposition critics call the move “absurd,” with NDP minister Lucinda Barnes demanding Stephen Harper’s resignation.
“This is just . . . to be honest, I’m speechless,” Barnes told reporters on Parliament Hill. “[Harper] should just resign and save himself the embaras—“
Barnes was unable to finish her sentence, as she was incinerated by energy blasts shortly after her press conference began.
More as it develops . . .