Setter-offer of metal detectors
Heir to the throne of wheels
Wielder of the mystical cane sword
Dylan Debilitatam will return . . .
* * * * *
Tomorrow morning I’m having back surgery to help with pain, numbness, and weakness in my legs that have resulted from a tobogganing accident I suffered in 2003.
On the one hand, I’m kind of excited at the possibility of moving past this particular stage of my life, but I know this surgery won’t give me back anything I’ve lost: loss of feeling from damaged spinal nerves, which reveal themselves in the sides of my legs, top and bottom of my feet, my left thigh, both my shins, etc..) My lack of balance isn’t likely to improve, either, but I’ve learned to live with this annoyance. Nor is this surgery to help with back pain. That is something I’m quite bummed about, but for different reasons I’ll write about another time.
What this particular surgery is supposed to help is the weak, rubbery feeling I get in my legs. It’s tough to describe . . . sort of like having sprinted for 20 minutes and your legs are exhausted, but you’re not tired or out of breath. It comes on very sudden–sometimes as soon as I wake up; other times it comes after a few kilometres of walking, or merely walking to the mailbox 100 metres away; and there are those lucky days where I don’t notice it. This is a result of the signals from my brain not making it to my legs, likely by pressure on my spinal cord. Continue reading
Oh for fuck’s sake, Charlie Brown. Get a grip!
Losing someone or something important is both painful and emotionally tumultuous. It might feel like the pain and sadness being experienced will never surpass, but it probably will. The shortness of breath, or the inability to focus; the loss of appetite, the tiredness and weakness, and the sense of despair that lingers in the air . . . these are normal reactions to a loss; these feelings are colloquially referred to as grief.
Often times, grief is associated with the death of a loved one, but any loss can precipitate it, including moving or the selling of a home, the death of a family pet, or the loss of a job. Or maybe it’s something less tangible or quantifiable, such as the ending of a storied friendship, the loss of a dream, or the loss of hope.
Grieving is a highly individual and personal experience. How one grieves depends on many factors, including their personality, life experience, or maybe their faith. How one grieves should not be judged or dictated by others, nor should it be interfered with unless asked. Continue reading
Imagine you had no place to go during the day—everyday. You spend your time wandering the streets, with a lack of expediency or purpose, waiting for the day’s clock to run out and for the sun to set, until such time you are allowed to sleep in a bed, if there’s one available. The next day a repeat of the last. And every day after.
On the streets you’re a shadow, a ghost. Passersby ignore you. They avoid eye contact, or display disdain at your situation. They call you lazy or useless, tell you to get a job. Others are disgusted at your situation: begging for money, digging through trash for bottles—‘how can someone live like that?’
What would you do all day? You make friends with people in similar situations; you develop a route to walk every day, the familiarity and comfort of your route giving you some kind of warped solace.
A mental illness, physical disability, substance abuse or family violence situation has left you on your own. You have nowhere to go, are unable or unknowing how to reach out for help.
You have fallen between the cracks. Continue reading
Filed under Alberta, Calgary
This is a wall. I did not build this wall.
This week seemed particularly crazy.
First the bombing in Boston, then ricin being sent to a US Senator, then the explosion of a fertilizer plant in Texas, and finally the shooting of a cop at MIT and the ensuing manhunt for the shooters who were alleged to be connected to the bombing earlier in the week.
While I kind of feel like I should be marking my door with lamb’s blood or something–you know, just in case–these events haven’t really struck a chord with me emotionally. Continue reading